When we enter into a relationship, we feel a sense of euphoria that stems from the fact that we are so much in love that we are certain that nothing can break this bond. What we really do is fantasize about an eternal bond that will never break and this lulls us into an illusion where we feel secure and happy. Why do breakups hurt so much? When something happens to sour the relationship and one party walks out on the other, there is a feeling of panic and despair compounded by loss that is difficult to explain and cope.
Causes for breakups –
Some couples may be involved in a romantic relationship and a rift is caused when one partner suspects the other of straying. However, in some cases, when the relationship has been a long standing one, it is possible that one of the partners has begun to lean heavily on the other due to years of living together. Some do not mind living together in an unhappy relationship or one that is boring just so that they are secure and do not have to face life alone.
Why do breakups hurt so much? When one has accepted the situation and continues to live in a relationship, they do it mainly because they have begun to respect the other and feel bound in a special way to care for the other. If one of the partners decide that the relationship is getting stale and wants out, they will start looking around and when the opportunity presents itself they will get out of the relationship. This is not uncommon though the unsuspecting partner becomes inconsolable and cannot bear the thought of the separation.
Do men suffer as much as women?
Men react differently to such circumstances. When he finds that the relationship he is in is a stalemate, he may not try to improve the same by seeking ways to make it work. If his partner suddenly decides to get out of the relationship he will do everything he can to persuade her not to leave him as he does not want to be alone.
Many men begin to see the writing on the wall and start looking for someone to fit the bill and some even shock their partners by suddenly seeking to end the relationship! They are able to camouflage their emotions better than most women.
Live and let live –
Breakups hurt because we begin to mourn the false feeling of security that dominated in the relationship. We should look ahead at this time and understand that when a door closes, a window opens somewhere which may be the answer to our prayer after all!
You have not lost your identity. On the other hand you are opening up and letting yourself get onto a higher plane where you are able to see your mistakes and improve on them.The next time around, you will be more cautious and ensure that you get into a relationship “with your eyes open!” Once we accept the face that rejection only makes us stronger and the sooner we learn to face harsh realities, the faster we will get on track and learn to lead normal lives.
We learn from our mistakes and the next time, though we are cautious, we will go the extra mile to handle the new relationship with a better mindset and enjoy the time spent with our new partner. Be confident and look at the new opportunity presented to you in a different light. Make a conscious decision to bury the past and look forward to a new future with the love of your life.