Many a time relationship fails because of the possessiveness of either of the two partners. Now the question is why do people get possessive in relationship? Largely, the possessiveness happens because of lack of trust and a communication gap. The important point here is no matter what was there in the past each of the two involved, people must focus on the present and try to carve a future for themselves. This future is not possible if you keep restricting your partner because of your possessiveness. Below, we’ll tell you ways to control possessiveness about girlfriend when she has too many male friends:
Despite, your possessiveness don’t get bossy or overbearing. The more you crib about her not loving you the more you’ll push her away. Let her go out with her friends. There is a reason why she chose you to be in a relationship despite the existence of her male friends. Let her be proud of that reason. If you continuously challenge her honesty and pile all your fears and worries on her she’ll keep wondering whether is it worthy to be in a relationship with you or not. Moreover, if you ask too many questions after she comes back you’ll wither her trust on you and she’ll stop telling you before going out.
Live your own life
Now, this is something you might have already heard a couple of times before actually visiting this page. But it is as important as it looks. You need to have your own set of priorities, your friends to hang out with, your hobbies to cater to and your job to focus on. The more time you spend on yourself the more relieved you’ll feel. When you focus on your life instead of hers you’ll not be in any sort of confusion about her. As much as it is important to spend time together it is important to spend time apart from each other. Getting too clingy and demanding will drive the other person away from you.
Meet her friends
Once in a while meet her friends. Go out with them and get to know them. The more you know them the more you’ll be able to trust them. If you trust her friends and know them closely there will be no reason for you to doubt her. Moreover, they’ll be clear about your equation with your girlfriend and their friend and will keep the lovey dovey quotient out of their friendship. This will eliminate the entire jealousy quotient in you and you’ll be in a position to trust her.
Give her time
When you spend time with her make her feel special, take her out, go out and party with her and practice each other’s hobbies and interests. This quality time you spend with her will get her closer to you. Remember when you meet her don’t fight or question her too much. This will make her lose interest in spending time with you. So, always try to mend things when you meet. Moreover, when you make her feel special and wanted she’ll not hide things from you. Who knows, she might even ditch her friends sometimes, just for the sake of the quality time she gets to spend with you?
Be verbal about your issues
Acknowledge your issues and let her know about it. Tell your partner that you get jealous and insecure sometimes. When you talk about it, maintain a calm tone. Don’t go about blaming her for anything. Simply discuss what’s bothering you and try to eliminate that problem. If you have a problem with a specific friend and not her entire friend circle, give her an appropriate reason of your insecurity.
In most cases, she’ll try and understand the problem that you’re facing and try to eliminate the issues that might stem up in the future. Never go about judging her or talk ill about her character. This will drive her away from you from to a point of no return.
Don’t intrude into her private space
Everybody has done that, be it checking emails, facebook accounts, whatsapp messages and everything that you could get your hands on. It is not really harmless but it does show your lack of trust on her. Everybody deserves a private space and when you hinder or obstruct her privacy she might feel cheated. You only feel the need to spy because of your lack of trust on her. Eliminate these trust issues and avoid getting into her personal space.
If she has left her facebook account signed in, log out immediately without going through her messages. If there is a message on her phone don’t check it instead hand over the phone to her. Over time, the fear and insecurities would be withering away and you’ll no longer feel the need to keep a check on her.
These are some of the tips to control possessiveness about girlfriend. Believe me when I say nobody likes a possessive, controlling boy friend. So, if you’re one of them remember it just can’t go on like this.